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Keep on reading"Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother"P60-75  

2011-10-01 10:05:22|  分类: English reading |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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       Jed was raised on a very different model.Neither of his parents were immigrants.both Sy and Florence were born and raised near Scranton,Pennsylvania,in strict orthodox Jewish households.Both lost their mothers at a young age,and both had oppressive,unhappy childhoods.After they were married,they got out of Pennsylvania as fast as they could,eventually settling in Washington,D.C.where Jed and his older brother and sister grew up.As parents,Sy and Florence were determined to give their children the space and freedom they had been deprived of as children.They believed in individual choice and valued independence,creativity,and questioning authority.

There was a world of difference between my parents and Jed's.Jed's parents gave him a choice about whether he wanted to take violin lessons(which he declined and now regrets)and thought of him as a human being with views.My parents didn't give me any choices,and never asked for my opinion on anything.Every year,Jed's parents let him spend the entire summer having fun with his brother and sister at an idyllic place called Crystal Lake;Jed says those were some of the best times of his life,and we try to bring Sophia and Lulu to Crystal Lake when we can.By contrast,I had to take computer programming-I hated summers.Jed's parents had good taste and collected art.My parents didn't.Jed's parents paid for some but not all of his educaiton.My parents always paid for everything,but fully expect to be cared for and treated with respect and devotion when they get old.Jed's parents never had such expectations.

 Jed's parents often vacatoned without their kids.They traveled with friends to dangerous places like Guatemala...My parents never went on vacatoin without their four kids.which meant we had to stay in some really cheap motels.also,having grown up in the developing world,my parents wouldn't have gone to Guatemala,.....if someone paid them;they took us to Europe instead,which has governments. gnaw

    You can't sound that good if you're not having fun.For some reason,Larry's comment reminded me of an incident from many years before,when Sophia was just starting the piano but I was already pushing hard,Jed discovered some funny marks on the piano on the wood just obove middle C.When he asked Sophia bout them,a guilty look come over her."What did you say?"she asked evasively.Jed crouched down and examnied them more closely."Sophia,he said slowly,"could these possibly be teeth marks?"

It turned out they were.After more quesioning,Sophia,who was perhaps six at the time.confessed that she often gnawed on the piano.When Jed explained that the piano was the most expensive piece of funiture we owned,Sophia promised not to do it again.I'm not quite sure why Larry's remark brought that episode to mind.

 Even Jed gave me credit for that one.Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem.But as a parent,one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up.On the flip side,thereis nothing better of building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.

   There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming,callous,overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests.For their part,many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners,who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly.I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides.All decent parents want to do what's best for their children.The Chinese just have a tatally different idea of how to do that.

   Western parents try to respect their children's individuality.encouraging them to pursue their true passions,supporting their choices,and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment.By contrast,the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future,letting them see what they're capable of,and aming them with skills,work habits,and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

The highlight of the sixth-grade year.For that,every student had to have a homemade medieval costume,which couldn't not be secretly rented or look too expensive.Each student had to bring in a medieval dish prepared in an authentic medieval way.Finally,each student had to build a medieval dwelling.

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